Hosur Road Stories - Part Deux

Zen moment on Hosur Road.

Driving to work one morning, it was heavy traffic as usual. We were creeping forward in jerks, and folks all around me were honking randomly - a normal day. Suddenly I experienced a Zen moment - in the midst of all that chaos, the mind got quietened and became an observer. All the minor internal reactions of anger, frustration, and despair just melted away. A smile tentatively bloomed on my face. I looked around me. All the vehicles were still there - we were still occasionally crawling. But inside, I was peaceful, smiling and watching everything, as if from a high platform. That elated feeling stayed sustained for a few minutes, and then it disappeared, as quietly as it had manifested. I became normal again, honking and mentally scolding imbecilic drivers with renewed vigour. It never happened again - was there something weird in the orange juice I was drinking that day?

Cops who stop traffic - literally.

Traffic on the Hosur Road is like a rampaging flock of sheep. Traffic lights have absolutely no effect on us - we just plow through. So, the cops at the intersections, desperate for a solution decided in one of their weekly meetings to create a new team of super-cops, who, armed with wands with flashing red LEDs, like jedi masters, would walk in front of the moving vehicles to stop them. Two cops from either side of the road, with their wands waving, would start walking across and meet at the centre - completely cutting off the flow. When they decide to let the traffic move again, they would quickly run to the sides of the road, and we folks with our growling engines would roar forward.

Minding the Gap.

We have deep urges to get ahead, if not in our lives, at least while on our roads. Every gap between vehicles needs to be conquered. If you make the mistake of leaving a gap between you and the vehicle in front of you while at a traffic stop, the guy behind you cannot bear to watch it. He will honk, flash his lights and do anything to drive into your mind that there's a virgin gap in front of you. He would be desperately screaming, at least in his mind "What the hell is wrong with you? Why aren't you seeing that gap? Don't you find that gap attractive enough for you? You must be out of your mind! Go on, move forward, don't make me suffer".

Watching the Hand.

When approaching a bigger vehicle, like a bus, or a truck, it is very important to watch the right hand of the driver, which usually rests on his window. His hand's movements signal what's on his mind. If he wishes to change lanes and come in front of you, he will point his index finger to the right. If he urgently needs to cut in front of you, and requires you to hit your brakes, his hand comes out a little more outside the window, and waves rapidly. If he is however in a benevolent mood, he would sway his palm back and forth, inviting you to overtake him. If you make the mistake of not reading his hands, and come up on his right side when he was actually intending to move to his right, his hand would spread it's fingers and turn, which is an action similar to rolling eyes, essentially conveying to you 'Dude you are such a moron - what's your fricking hurry?'

Ma liaison amoureuse.

My affair with Akshaya has been carrying on well. I meet her everyday on my way to work. We exchange sweet nothings and terms of endearment. Her luscious green leaves wave everytime I drive by at 40kmph. We've known each other for nearly two years now... and our bond has been growing. My wife, ofcourse, knows all about this - and has been very understanding, hehe. There's a poignant side to Akshaya's life though... you can read more about her in my first set of Hosur Road stories here.

Today is Ugadi - the start of the Hindu New Year according to the lunar calendar. Wishing you a wonderful year ahead!