A letter from Putti

I received this letter on Valentine's Day, I suspect, influenced by Veronica Berlusconi's open letter to her husband.

If you love me, why do you hurt me? I always pay attention to your needs, so you are comfortable all the time. All I need is your tender loving care - that secure feeling you bring to me.

I know your eyes have a tendency to rove, but my heart is secure in its knowledge that you still love me. When you once wrote about your attraction for a seductive backside you'd seen in Paris, or when you stared at a passerby a tad too long when we were on a journey together, I was still fine with you doing it. Why? Because of my unshakable love for you.

Do you remember our initial conversations before we decided to live our lives together? I made it very clear to you my strengths, and limitations. Now, have those memories faded? You keep pushing me onto greater challenges - how much longer can I cope? Please, be a little more tempered.

Remember how you drove me when we first met. You cared for every hump, and very dimple on the roads - helping me sail smoothly over them. But lately it feels like you've stopped caring. When that scooter skidded and scratched my front bumper, it was your fault - you should have been driving slower. When you dented my rear door, it was again your careless driving that was the cause. And look at what you did yesterday. You unsuccessfully tried, in a juvenile fashion, to climb onto the drain covers on Hosur Road to change over to the service lane - and my underbody got scraped. Please respect my limits - you know I am a city car, not an SUV with high ground clearance.

I've heard that you've recently seen the Fast and the Furious trilogy of movies - with sinful sexy cars doing illegal things. I know you've described the scene with cars drifting sideways down a mountain road at night as "sheer poetry". Poetry, schmoetry. Can those cars take you to work everyday on Hosur Road? Could they love you and care as much as I do? And importantly, will they be faithful and stay at home with you through the night? Huh? You don't know how lucky you are to have me.

Look, my darling, our relationship is not one-sided. I cannot just slave for you, so you can lead a comfortable life. What do I ask from you? Have I asked for alloy wheels? Have I ever wished for a subwoofer? All I need in life is your care and understanding. Our love for each other can only get stronger.

Love,
Your Putti (Btw, it feels so good when call me Putti).